Becoming a Woman of Purpose - #6

Becoming a Woman of Purpose

To Carry Out His Ways in Our Lives

“For my thoughts are not your thoughts,
   neither are your ways my ways,”
            declares the LORD.
As the heavens are higher than the earth,
   so are my ways higher than your ways
   and my thoughts than your thoughts."

~Isaiah 55:8-9

QUOTES TO NOTE
{Author's Pick}

"God disciplines us with reluctance, though He does it faithfully. He does not delight in our adversities, but He will not spare us that which we need to grow more and more into the likeness of His Son. It is our imperfect spiritual condition that makes discipline necessary. This is not to say that every adversity that occurs in our lives is related to some specific sin we have committed. The issue God is dealing with in our lives is not so much what we do, but rather what we are."
~Jerry Bridges

"God called Jesus Christ to what seemed unmitigated disaster. Jesus Christ called His disciples to see Him put to death; He lead every one of them to the place where their hearts were broken. Jesus Christ's life was an absolute failure from every standpoint but God's. But what seemed failure from man's standpoint was a tremendous triumph from God's, because God's purpose is never man's purpose... The things that happen do not happen by chance, then happen entirely in the decree of God, God is working out His purposes."
~Oswald Chambers

"God is for us far more, at times, than we would prefer. He is committed to removing all vestiges of sin from our soul when we wish He'd be satisfied with a clean new outfit. His interest in us far exceeds our concerns. Or perspective is usually limited to acheiving a better life, and His desire for us is radical conformity to His Son's perfect character. No wonder He seems like an enemy when His discipline begins to grind off our arrogance in order to perfect His beauty."
~Dan B. Allender

DIVE IN

{my personal answers are in blue... if you are copy/pasting this into a word document, simply delete my answers and add your own}

1. "The way of the Lord is a stronghold to the upright" -Proverbs 10:29. The way God works in each of us is unique and different, but he does have a consistent way of working. Read the following scriptures and write down His way/Expected result:
   
   Galatians 5:16-26
   His Way- Walk by the spirit, not the flesh
   Expected Result- We will have the fruit of the spirit rather than the "acts of flesh" (sexual immorality, impurity, debauchery, idolatry, witchcraft, etc.)
   
   2 Corinthians 4:16-18
   His Way- Fix our eyes on things unseen
   Expected Result- What is on the outside and all of our troubles are not eternal, only God's glory is.
   
   2 Timothy 3:16
   His Way- Know scripture
   Expected Result- We can teach, rebuke, correct, and train through it.
   
   Hebrews 12:7-11
   His Way- Endure hardships as discipline
   Expected Result- Those who are trained through discipline can share in God's holiness.
   
   
2. It is important to distinguish the difference between God's "working of the outside forces" surrounding our lives for good and our own sinful choices that then bring discipline into our lives. The following passages show the consequences of sinful actions- write down the choices made and the consequences that followed.
   
   Miriam & Aaron
   Numbers 12:1-15
   Choices- Believeing they to were speaking the word of the Lord and boasting about it
   Consequences- Leprousy and confinement of 7 days
   
   Israel
   Jeremiah 4:14-20
   Choices- Evil hearts, wicked thoughts, and rebelling against the Lord
   Consequences- Any army surrounding their land raising war cries, ultimately destroying all the land
   
   
3. God's ability to take people's evil intent and work it out for good is exciting, to say the least. God's plans cannot be thwarted even in the face of overwhelming circumstances. Read the following passages and write down God's use of people's ways to accomplish his purposes.
   
   Daniel 3:8-30
   Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego refused to follow the decree to worship the image of gold. As punishment they were sentenced to death via a furnace bound together. However, they were saved by the Lord seen walking around in the fire unbound with a "son of the gods." Through their faith God was praised rather than the image of gold.
   
   Acts 2:22-24
   The Israelites sentenced Jesus Christ to death despite His miracles and the knowledge the Jews had regarding a coming savior. God raised His son from the dead.
   
   Philippians 1:12-14
   Despite the fact Paul was chained and imprisoned God used this to His advantage by advancing the gospel throughout the palace.

CONTEMPLATION & PRAYER
{Just for you!}

1. For the next few days think about how God works and about His desire to be acknowledged, make sure to read Hosea 14: 8-9 to help guide your thought process.
   
   
2. What are some of the "ways" of the Lord (refer to question #1 from "Dive In") that have produced good results in your life?
   
   
3. Can you recall an example in your life where God worked difficult circumstances for good? (refer to question #3 from "Dive In"). Describe your experience(s).
   
   
4. What is the best response I can have for God's ways in my life?
   
   
5. What blessings are mine when I walk in His way?

MEMORY VERSE

"O Ephraim, what more have I to do with idols? 

It is I who answer and look after you.

It am like a luxuriant cypress;

From Me comes your fruit.

Whoever is wise, let him understand these things;

Whoever is discerning, let him know them.

For the ways of the Lord are right,

And the righteousness will walk in them,

But transgressors will stumble in them" 

~Hosea 14:8-9

AUTHOR'S REFLECTION
{Cynthia Heald}
  

While traveling I managed to take someone else's luggage while she mistakenly took mine. I didn't realize the mixup until I arrived at the retreat center, an hour away from the airport. Once I realized the issue I prayed, "Lord, why did this happen? Now I've got to spend time contacting this person, I'll have to find someone to take a two hour trip, and I need my bag! All of this could have been avoided, this isn't a good use of my time, it's an inconvenience for everyone involved, I don't see any good in this at all!" (I respond well to issues, don't I?) Obviously this was a minor irritation in life, but what I learned next requires understanding God's ways. As I slowly navigated the interruption to my life I began to sense the Lord, "Cynthia, this happened as a reminder that you cannot live life in your own strength or way; more than anything I want you to learn to depend on Me. Sometimes I need to put you into situations, so that you can see Me work and then you will give Me glory. Also, this dear young woman-whose suitcase you have- needs to know of Me, so giver her a booklet and write her a personal note." God's ways are not our ways. But, His ways are always right, always for His glory, and always for our own good!

A note from "Skinnie"

Hey ladies,
I want to apologize for my EXTREME absence on this wonderful blog...

We are pretty settled in after our insanely long PCS and I have found the book (those sneaky packers grabbing things that I didn't want packed) so next Wednesday we will be jumping back into the "Becoming a Woman of Purpose" series.... to catch up:

1. Introduction
2. A People Who Will Reflect His Glory
3. To Conform Us to Christ
4. To Love His People
5. To Establish His Kingdom
6. To Accomplish His Plan for Good

I hope you are all doing well and ready to jump back into this study... feel free to leave comments- questions, suggestions, even concerns.

God Bless,
~Skinnie

Love Dare- Day 5

Love is Not Rude

He who blesses his friend with a loud voice early in the morning, it will be reckoned a curse to him--Proverbs 27:14

 

"Nothing irritates others as quickly as being rude. Rudeness is unnecessarily saying or doing things that are unpleasant for another person to be around. To be rude is to act unbecoming, embarrassing, or irritating. In marriage, this could be a foul mouth, poor table manners, or a habit of making sarcastic quips"  (Love Dare, page 21).

Think about when you first met your soul mate, you were polite, considerate, caring. You didn't show your rude or unfavorable side, at least not at first.We all have our moments, but love minds it's matters. It's when people don't care, or don't show love that they are rude. When you use good manners or are kind to your spouse it tells them that you respect them enough to exercise self control.

" There are two main reasons why people are rude: ignorance and selfishness. Neither, of course, is a good thing. Adults display their ignorance at another level. You know the rules, but you can be blind to how you break them or be too self-centered to care. In fact, you may not realize how unpleasant you can be to live with" (Love Dare, page 22)

There are three guidelines to practicing etiquette in your relationship:

1) Treat others are you want to be treated
2) No double standards
3) Honor requests

TODAY'S DARE

ASK YOUR SPOUSE TO TELL YOU THREE THINGS THAT CAUSE HIM OR HER TO BE UNCOMFORTABLE OR IRRITATED WITH YOU. YOU MUST DO SO WITHOUT ATTACKING THEM OR JUSTIFYING YOUR BEHAVIOR. THIS IS FROM THERE PERSPECTIVE ONLY.

What things did your spouse point out about you that need your attention? How did you handle hearing it? What do you plan to do to improve these areas?

Love Dare- Day 4

Love is Thoughtful

How precious also are Your thoughts to me....How vast is the sum of the,! If I should count them, they would outnumber the sand--Psalm 139:17-18

  Do you remember what it was like when you first met your other half. At the beginning of dating? You thought about them all the time, what food they would like to eat for dinner, what to say to them, ways to show them how much you love them. Things tend to change once you get married. The chase is over, we have our prize. We get caught up in the mundane motions of life.

The truth is, the author discusses, that we have to realize that our marriage includes someone else or things such as birthdays sneaking up on us, anniversaries coming and going, decisions being made without every considering the other person can be damaging. 

Men and women vary in their actions and thoughts. Men are more straightforward and can focus all their attention on one thing, where as women tend to multitask and think about and do many things all at the same time. In a relationship we need to realize these differences in each other to make things work smoother. Women need to be considerate and learn to talk about things that bother them and speak more directly. Men need to be sensitive to a woman's needs and try and see the hints we throw their way. If both parties are working together then we will be able to focus more on thinking about our spouses like we did in the beginning of the relationship. 

Today's Dare

Contact your spouse sometime during the business of the day. Have no agenda other than asking how he or she is doing and if there is anything you could do for them.

what did you learn about yourself or your spouse by doing this today? How could this become a more natural, routine, and genuinely helpful part of your lifestyle?

 

Chapter 22: His Emotions

This week we are talking about our husband's emotions. This chapter is pretty short, but I thought I would cover it anyway so you can know what to pray for! In this chapter Stormie basically gives two examples of men who had problems with emotions and what their wives did about it.

In one example, a man had anger problems. His whole family walked on eggshells around him wondering when they were going to set him off. His wife started praying for him on a regular basis and change happened. It didn't happen overnight and he still did struggle with it at times, but it got better and better. Stormie says, "The best gift a wife can give to calm her husband's anger is to pray for him."

The second example Stormie gives is a husband who had depression. He was bringing his wife down because of it and she couldn't take it anymore. Stormie explains what happened: "She told Chad [her husband] she had committed to pray for him every day and wanted him to keep her informed as to how he was feeling. From the first day, they both noticed that every time she prayed, his spirit lifted. Soon he could no longer deny the power of prayer and he began to pray along with her. He has been steadily improving ever since. His depressions are less frequent now and he is able to rise above them far more quickly. The two of them are committed to seek God for Chad's total freedom."

I love hearing stories like this because prayer is an amazing thing! It does not mean that any problem that you have will clear up overnight, there are many people who pray for years and years for their relatives to get saved, for healing, or other things. But it does mean prayer works, and that God is listening and He cares.

Stormie ends the chapter with this: "Anger and depression are but two of the many negative emotions that can torment a man's soul. Often they are only a habitual way of thinking that has been given place over time. Men tend to believe it's part of their character that can't be altered, but these patterns can be broken. Don't stand by and watch your husband be manipulated by his emotions. Freedom may be just a prayer away."

Prayer:

"Lord, You have said in Your Word that You redeem our souls when we put our trust in You (Psalm 34:22). I pray that (husband's name) would have faith in You to redeem his soul from negative emotions. May he never be controlled by depression, anger, anxiety, jealousy, hopelessness, fear, or suicidal thoughts. Specifically I pray about (area of concern). I know that only You can deliver and heal, but use me as Your instrument of restoration. Help me not to be pulled down with him when he struggles. Enable me instead to understand and have words to say that will bring life."

"Free him to share his deepest feelings with me and others who can help. Liberate him to cry when he needs to and not bottle his emotions inside. At the same time, give him the gift of laughter and ability to find humor in even serious situations. Teach him to take his eyes off his circumstances and trust in You, regardless of how he is feeling. Give him patience to possess his soul and ability to take charge of it (Luke 21:19). Refresh him with Your Spirit, and set him free from negative emotions this day."

Power Tools:

-Proverbs 28:26

-Psalm 33:18,19

-Psalm 40:1-3

-Psalm 23:3

-Psalm 34:22

Chapter 21: His Marriage

This week we are talking about marriage. Stormie starts the chapter off by telling a story about her husband. She talks about a problem that was not there before they got married, but became a problem after they got married, and how they resolved it by compromise and prayer. The point of the story was  to show that even small things can add up and "become pivotal in determining whether a marriage stays together or falls apart."

Stormie continues on about applying prayer to marriage. She says, "Praying about all aspects of a marriage keeps the concept of divorce from gaining any hold. So we mustn't neglect the major issues, even if we think they don't apply to us. From the day we were married, I prayed that there would be no divorce or adultery in our future. Although there was no history of either of those in our backgrounds, divorce and adultery had so saturated our culture and the business we were in that they were almost expected in some circles. I prayed that God would preserve our marriage from any such destruction. He has been faithful to answer those prayers."

When I was fifteen, my parents divorced. Because of that when I got married, I made sure that we both knew that divorce was a bad word in our house, and that it was never to be used, even in anger. I believe prayer holds a big part in that. Because if we do not pray or put God first in our marriage, our marriage and everything else is going to fall apart. Prayer is a must, if you want your marriage to last in this day and age, where divorce is the norm.

"Marriage is great when two people into it with a mutual commitment to keep it strong no matter what. But often a couple will have preconceived ideas about who the other is and how married life is supposed to be, and then reality hits. You have to continually pray  that any unreal expectations be exposed and all incompatibilities be smoothed out so that you grow together in a spirit of unity, commitment, and a bond of intimacy. Pray that your marriage is a place where two agree so God will be in the midst of it (Matthew 18:19,20). If either of you has been married before, pray that you do not bring any residue from that into your marriage now. Break any ties-good or bad, emotional or spiritual-with any former relationships. You can't move forward into the future if you have a foot stuck in the past."

I think everyone has an idea of what they think their marriage will be like and is disappointed at some point. No marriage is perfect, but you through a lot of work and prayer you can still have the marriage you want.

"Don't take your marriage for granted, no matter how great it is. Pray for your marriage to be protected from any person or situation that could destroy it. Ask the Lord to do whatever it takes to keep the marriage intact, even if it means striking one of you with lightening when you think about giving it all up! Pray that God will make your marriage a source of joy and life to both of you, and not a drudgery, a thorn, a dread, an irritation, or a temporary condition."

With all the pressures of military life, marriage can be even harder. Determine today, to keep your marriage in prayer every day. You will be glad you did!

Prayer:
Lord, I pray You would protect our marriage from anything that would harm or destroy it. Shield it from our own plans and desires of others, and from unhealthy or dangerous situations. May there be no thoughts of divorce or infidelity in our hearts, and none in our future. Set us free from past hurts, memories, and ties from previous relationships, and unrealistic expectations of one another. I pray there there be no jealousy in either of us, or the low self-esteem that presides that. Let nothing come into our hears and habits that would threaten the marriage in any way, especially influences like alcohol, drugs, gambling, pornography, lust, or obsessions.

"Unite us in a bond of friendship, commitment, generosity, and understanding. Eliminate our immaturity, hostility, or feelings of inadequacy. Help us to make time for one another alone, to nurture and renew the marriage and remind ourselves of the reasons we were married in the first place. I pray that (husband's name) will be so committed to You, Lord, that his commitment to me will not waiver, no matter what storms come. I pray that our love for each other will grow stronger every day, so that we will never leave a legacy of divorce to our children."

Power Tools:
-Ecclesiates 4:9,10
-Malachi 2:15,16
-Hebrews 13:4
-Ecclesiastes 4:11
-I Corinthians 7:10,11

Love Dare- Day 3

Last week, I am not sure what blogger was doing but now that we are up and running, here is Day 3 for Love Dare!

Be devoted to one another in brotherly love; give preference to one another in honor.- Romans 12:10

Think about how the world runs. It's all about perception, appearance, and putting your personal satisfaction above everything else. This is not a healthy foundation for any marriage. Who would want to be married to someone who only cared about their appearance, what made them happy, and what they could gain. Sounds pretty one sided.

The author talks about a word that would be the opposite of love and that would be selfishness but that it is with us from birth. Think about young kids, not sharing, crying because they want something they can have. They are selfish. We tend to criticize others for being selfish but yet defend it at a moments notice in ourselves. Why? It's hypocritical if we don't point out our own faults.

Ever done something and wanted a reward or bravo points for doing something nice? Guess what? That's selfish too! You either have to make decisions out of love for others or love for yourself. We can't be selfish and expect our relationships to work.

Choosing to not be selfish will find yourself saying "no" to things you want and "yes" to what your spouse needs. You will find as this change in ways continues you will be happier. Have a better outlook on life, and that others will see in the change in you as well. Why? Because you aren't being selfish.

Ask yourself these questions:

• Do you truly want what's best for your husband or wife?
• Do you want them to feel loved by you?
• Do they believe you have their best interests in mind?
• Do they see you as looking out for yourself first?

The author is true in saying whether or not you like it you have a reputation in the eyes of those around you, especially your spouse. Make the decision to be the first to demonstrate a change to show the real love to your spouse.

Do nothing from selfishness or empty conceit, but with humility of mind regard one another as more important than yourselves (Philippians 2:3)

Today's Dare

Whatever you put your time, energy, and money into will become more important to you. It's hard to care for something you are not investing in. Along with restraining from negative comments, buy your spouse something that says "I was thinking about you today"

What did you choose to give your spouse? What happened when you gave it?